Move along.

and now that we're here, so far awaaaaay .

Sunday, May 2, 2010 3:43 AM / to top

COUSINS ! ♥

Ilovethem to bits cause they are the ones who will always be there other than my siblings. :D

And of course, Faradina ♥ ! She's awesomely cute and I wanna watch her grow.
Chubby baby.

Had the urge to blog. well, it's nearly 4am. and most of the time, at this time, my mind would be filled with thoughts.

the past few posts were so goddamn scrambled cause' i had to just let it out. tsk.
life has been hard. but then, i don't hate it, cause I have to live with it for... more years to come.
i hadn't had a very good post lately, so let's have it since I have alot of free time, for right now. And also I had my sleep earlier. From 10plus to 2am. The best sleep I've ever had for so long.

School's started and the third week is coming.
3-4 days to a month since everything's ended, and tsk. I'm still ...
I've cut my hair.
My appetite has been out of control. :(
And, through everything, I realised alot of things.

1.
School. Hmm, it's good. Had some difficulties adapting though. I'm not good when it comes to a new environment. In fact, I suck at it. But hell yeah! The first day was pretty lonely, but as days goes by, I'm slowly being myself with the new people.
The modules are effing difficult. I don't know where I adapted the habits of sleeping in class, alot. i meanm yes i do sleep during my secondary times. but it wasnt that much like how I'm right now. I mostly shut off in almost all of the lectures. I can't seem to just listen and absorb everything in my brain. And i'm losing out on alot of things. i'm glad i realised it now, cause I'm gonna start studying like veryvery soon. biology, history of nursing-ohplease!, anatomy and sociology & psychology. I just have to endure History of nursing, even though i hate it. urgh. the reason why i hate it cause i find no point in something that has no use in being a nurse. Is the patient gonna ask who is Florence Nightingale ? hell no, the patients just wanna get themselves treated. HAHA. ohwell, i just have to anyway.
i wanna try to get a GPA of above three. study well balls! :D

2.
ohwell, need i say more. pretty much most of those scrambled posts was about you. as much as i keep acting like i'm okay with everything, actually deep down, gosh. i still feel fucked up. you know, it's weird but everytime when i accidentally bumped into you, i had a feeling earlier that i would see you. tsk. and hell yes. you can't fool me cause' i kinda know alot of things. nobody told me anything. like i said, i'm very intuitive and sometimes when i see something, i have that feeling like, whatever intuition i had was true. and yes, finally it was.
not gonna say here. but it sucks liking somebody who doesn't feel the same way. i guess you know now. i know you well, to know that you won't show you care but actually you do, deep down.
me ? ah, well. i'm just okay. i have many notebooks that was filled with thoughts when we were still together. waiting for the day when i'm able to throw them all away.
gosh, i'm glad i deleted your number straight after everything. and also i forced myself to forget your number. cause i was too dependant on you last time when i have problems. and currently yes, i do. and if i were to still have your number, ... oh well, let's not think of it.
i can say alot more. but enough already. Just need to be optimistic. But then again, i'm doing good, just those times only.

3.
yes, posted about this. my bangs. HAHA.
most of the people commented that i look like a kid and i look cute. :)
almost everybody said that i should keep this hairstyle.
and yes, i plan too.

my view on this hair. YES I LIKE. HAHA.
cause i'm finally free of trying to make sure my fringe dont get messed up. this bangs just lay in place. okay, it has its occasional bad days, but its okay. bangbang.
but the sad thing is, its slowly getting frizzy already. i can feel it balls! holy coooow!

4.
YES MY APPETITE! HOLY CRAP. ITS SERIOUSLY OUT OF CONTROL.
i guess i eat cause it makes me happy. but then again, where the hell did i get that huge appetite from. my stomach don't usually be able to take it so much food. i mean, who the hell won't be full after eating spaghetti, some of chicken chop, fried chicken, fries. yes, all in one go.
and i suffered alot in school. now, i;m known to be the girl who is always late and a girl who eats ALOT, in my poly life! One of my friends called me PFF. pretty french fries girl, she says. like what the crap. why pretty? i have no shit idea. but french fries, cause i would always buy the french fries almost all the time.HAHA.
big eater, annoyed the crap out of me.
and i mostly spend money on food!

and yes, i ate 5 nuggets and macspicy an hour ago, and i'm telling you, i'm still hungry !
i think my stomach has a hole, or worms as some might say.

5.
People makes mistakes, with an S. and everybody got to accept that fact. and somehow or another someone got to forgive them. but sometimes, its effing annoying when a person just keep sucking up to your face about your mistakes. hating you, due to the mistakes you've done. nobody's perfect and everybody's different. and you can't make me be like you. cause i just wanna be like how i've always been.

i've got some imperfections but how can you collect them all and throw them in my face. - Staind.

& sometimes, you've got to forget how you feel and be treated like how you deserve. What's the point of being nice, always being there for them and only to be treated like crap. i know the feeling. sometimes, being too nice just gets you... nowhere but just getting you yourself hurt.
be nice to people who deserve it. :)

impossible is nothing. tsk. bullshit much. okaylah, you got to accept that some things are JUST impossible, no matter how hard you try. like wanting to ace in your studies, that's possible if you study.
but what about, forcing someone to like you. that's impossible. why force when they already like someone else. to me, thats just impossible and a waste of time.
what about, ... i just don't know how to explain this example.

the simplest things are always the best.

tsk. mcm phm lah aku. -.-
but dey, that's how i feel.

'if i chose to walk away, will you be right here waiting?'

its 4.43am. i took like almost an hour to post this. haha, was facebook-ing at the same time.
my eyes is feeling tired, already.

night.

Labels: always find the words to say to wanna keep you right there waiting, but now, hell no.