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life's a game, but its not fair.
much loves, pearlly.
i'm better.
Wednesday, April 14, 2010 12:15 AM /
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hey, to any possible readers. My eyelids may die on me soon, but i just need to post something.
currently, I wanna enjoy and appreciate the awesome people who has been there for me always.
how am I ? You know, I'm glad I'm fueled with optimism. Cause that's the only thing that got me thinking. Why bother in being miserable and crying and being sad ? Oh, easier. Fuck why bother?
Yes, the <3 I had for you will not fade and I bet if we were to ever rekindle anything again, those hidden feelings i kept will come back. But, i chose not to think that i miss you, and i love you. no wait, actually nowadays, i don't miss you. Cause i thought, fuck, why waste on missing someone who doesn't feel the same way towards you? yes, sometimes, i get vulnerable and i thought about every possible scenarios. Like, how would i feel if you were to be with an another one. I get so darn jealous. but then again, oh fuck why bother.
esp, today. it was supposedly to be our 5 mths. and a week since we broke up. i thought i would be disturbed and miserable the whole day. but on the way to work, I thought again, oh why give a fuck. i bet you dint even remember, cause sometimes before you dint.
you know, i sat down and comptemplated(?) about EVERYTHING you said. everything, yes i remembered everything you said. so be careful about what you say, i may not say anything to you, but through your words, i can somehow decipher whatever you have been keeping. anws, you know what, hell, you said a whole lot of bull. A WHOLE LOT. or maybe, just everything you said. it was never the truth- (okay maybe some was truthful.) and to me it was more like your words spoke louder than your actions.
yes, i'm hurt. broken. but, i can't help it if i'm such a forgiving person. I don't hold grudges towards people. like i mentioned, i can forgive but don't hope on me forgetting everything.
apart from all that, yes. you helped me in some ways in my life. and I thank you for that. you left some memories, good ones, and bad ones. please study hard, even after everything, i still care about you. your studies and health. that's all.
I don't wanna lead myself on anymore. yes, still in the process of getting over you, and i doubt i will any sooner. So, goodbye.
ON AN ANOTHER NOTE.
I have many awesome people around. My friends and my Cousins and siblings, of course. Work was oh so awesome. No matter how nonsense and crappy they get, They somehow made my day.
i realised i became wiser. heeeeeeeee. i mean, people grow up, they will get wiser what!
* they say. Time will tell. Time will heal. But time isn't a bullet train. The process is killing me. Can it go any faster, i wanna get over this easier.
aww, my last week at work. how effing sad. :( gonna miss working.
okay i gotta shut my eyes.
i have been trying to keep myself occupied and pushing myself too hard.
my body aches. everything aches.
*yawn. goodnight.
Labels: ' love hurts, but sometimes its a good hurt. '
