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draceania pearl-linnia!

Finally seventeen. 01november1992. Lepidopterophobia : butterflies freak me out. I find myself better at expressing through words than saying it out to someone. siblings, cousins and channing tatum makes me happy(: ! i have fetish for british accents and i feel a sense of euphoria listening to music and i love to read.

I've learnt many things in life. I believe everybody makes mistakes.I'm not the only one who makes mistakes. Just think of all the ones you made. And don't think so negative about yourself. If you do, you will never think you can. I try to be optimistic but not too optimistic.

Many said I'm soft. So be nice. Thankyou.

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HOLY SMOKES!

Saturday, April 24, 2010 11:40 PM / to top

yes that's the bangs.
firstly, din't think it would turn out good. but i guess, it's okay.
so far, two dint have good comments but! many had good comments about me having this hair.
and personally, if you were to ask me, i swear i dont know which one I liked better.
bangbang !
okay lame.
-.-

okay, so I went to cut my hair with my sister on Friday. She went to dye her hair and cut bangs too. while me just bangs. wanted to dye, but nahhhhhhhhhhh.
so hell! i fell asleep while waiting for my turn!
damn, I was so overwhelmed with fatigue and i can't control my sleep any longer.
haha, me and my useless sleeping habits. always.

now, school.
well, school's fine. was lost here and there but i'll soon get used to it!
the module is just oh-so difficult to understand. Gonna start studying soon.
haiz, i swear, i have no idea how to cope with studies and work at the same time, when the time comes. i mean when the times come for me to find work, and i predict it will be veryvery soon. my bank going low, but, i will survive.
sighs.

ever had that feeling that always comes and make you feel so low. i mean out of the blue, those feelings just appear and make you feel like fuck. that feeling was today.
i used to love long bus rides. but currently, no. def, not. i just have time to myself to think. and i did today. i thought about those things that happened. and everything ah. and then the truth just slapped my face hard, everytime.
the truth is .
' you weren't honest, right from the start. Right from the time, we were at the back of the MT classroom, or maybe somewhere there. Everything you said then was just merely something you needed to say to attract my attention. you just needed me for what. something of which i just can't bear to repeat. '
i dint say everything you said wasn't true throughout. but those were just half-hearted words, that made me fell deep.
You know, it has been nearly three weeks. Shouldn't I be feeling good or maybe not feel hurt anymore? buttt, no.
i ain't the type who just shrugs a feeling like this. once i fall, i fall hard. and i don't fall that easily, as you can see.
not that i wanna continue feeling like this. i tried. tried to be angry. tried to forgive and dont look back in anger but its just the same.
sorry if im reacting like so out of the ordinary towards this thing. but its just that, everything falls just all at one go. you went when i actually needed you.
when problem crops up, i would tell you and just by talking to you I would be okay. but now, hell. things hasn't been well and i just don't know how. i guess i was wrong to depend on you. wrong to share those personal problems with you. and also just everything. i was so wrong. but i have no regrets. just disappointing.
ohwell. people says time will tell, time will heal. yeah i know. but damn, time you are moving like bloody slow ! heh.

i know i have been one contradicting bitch. saying, im okay and over him and suddenly poof, aik. im not over here. its just that i chose to make myself think as such. but actually im not. yeah, being optimistic kinda did helped me. but when this feeling crops up, not even optimism can shoo this feelings away.

which is why im angry at MYSELF. like why the hell am i even feeling as such when its one-sidedly? see, suddenly optimism. but nah, i still feel the same.

okok, i really really got to stop. hahaha, okay soon will stop !

MOVING ONNNNNNNNNN TO AN ANOTHER BRIGHTER TOPIC.

going pasir ris tomorrow. no idea where the hell we're going. but i'll just go with the flow. as long its better than rotting at home, Im good.

gonna start to study biology already. a subject that is totally ancient to me. holy mackerel! holy smokes ! I'm dead if I don't start studying asap!
c:

my mind is in a whirl. many things just runs in it, trying to solve the effing problem.
ohwell i dont wanna bother about it lah.
can i just go with the flow.

ANYWAYS. ROOSEVELTS VENGEANCE IS SERIOUSLY PROGRESSING WELL! AWESOME. I NEVER FAIL TO LISTEN BLOODLUST, LIKE ALMOST EVERYDAY! and got to know. they making new songs. ahhh, awesome balls!

hell, i do talk alot of nonsense sometimes. hahaha.

' You're your own worst enemy, you'll never win a fight.'

Labels: sleepyhead on the loose.