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life's a game, but its not fair.
much loves, pearlly.
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draceania pearl-linnia!
Finally seventeen. 01november1992. Lepidopterophobia : butterflies freak me out.
I find myself better at expressing through words than saying it out to someone.
siblings, cousins and channing tatum makes me happy(: !
i have fetish for british accents and i feel a sense of euphoria listening to music and i love to read.
I've learnt many things in life.
I believe everybody makes mistakes.I'm not the only one who makes mistakes. Just think of all the ones you made.
And don't think so negative about yourself. If you do, you will never think you can.
I try to be optimistic but not too optimistic.
okay. I feel so lost. Yeah. One by one it just keeps continuing.
' Think about the sacrifices and the things you have to go through before committing yourself. You'll never know who gets hurts when you realised you can't take it. ' Applies to mainly everything.
I wanna go soak myself in books right now.
Say whatever you wanna say. Say I'm disrespectful and whatnot.
you don't know me at all. don't anyhow judge me just because of the things I chose to show you. You will never know me that well cause I've decided not to let you too.
call me a slut, call me a devil (setan), call me a whore, call me a bitch. just say it. accuse me that i let people touch me, say that i let my bf sleep with me or whatever. say that you dont care, if that happens. just say it.say that i'm becoming a slut or whatever. just say it. oh you did. and that hurts me big time.
why do people just judge a person that fast. doesnt mean i wear short skirts or whatever, imma slut okay. i know my limits and fuck you for thinking i would do such a thing.
i just dont know what to do. being quiet and staying away from this place, annoys you. staying, letting you see my face, annoys you. what in the world do you want me to do. isnt the story over. stop bloody sucking it up to my face. the story is like ancient and history to everybody but hell, i wanna let you know that youre the only person who keeps repeating. yes i know cause you're the one who has to go through it. but sometimes, people makes mistakes.
like i said. im not a whore and thanks for saying that i am. you having that mentality that i wanna sleep with my bf and you saying all that shows, really that you dont know me that well.
the only people who knows me very well are my cousins- the one who i always spend time with and also my sister. they know how i am and they have always been there for me. despite everything. they have never judged me, they know what kind of person i am. esp my cousins. my sister too.
go ask them, they will tell you what kind of person i am. they list the bad and also my good qualities. and i can assure you, me letting guys touch me or whatever will not appear in that bad qualites. me being a slut will never appear in that bad qualities.
i dont go around giving my numbers to guys. i dont go around flirting with them. i dont play with their hearts. i dont let them touch me. as in places that obviously you shouldnt touch. yes, i fell with one. yes, i know my limits when im with him but, right now. since we are no longer together, theres nothing to even think about.
i dont mix with the wrong friends. they are all good friends and they know what's right and what's not. they all have dignity.
last. please, dont act like you know me even if you watched me grow. people change. people makes mistakes. dont judge a person by how they look. im telling you now that. you seriously dont know me that well.
i hate to become a fan just to see whats the group is all about. ended up being disappointed and i remove from fans. FACEBOOK. LIKE-ING A CERTAIN GROUP DOESN'T FEEL THE SAME AS BECOME-ING A FAN FOR IT. your changes are so redundant and useless. heh.
oasis! stop crying your heart out. awesome much.
channing tatum, deyyyy!
channing linnia! HAHAHAHA.
Sometimes, It's best to forget how you feel and remember what you deserve.
The only people you need in your life are the ones that prove they need you in theirs.
Love hurts, but sometimes, it's a good hurt & it feels like I'm alive.
Nothing lasts forever and we both know hearts can change : November rain.
Sorry's doesn't mend a broken heart, the effort does.
Not everyone gets what they deserve, they just get what they get. Life's not fair. Get used to it.
It's not about, ' I am who I am. ' We are not exactly who we are, We are what society wants us to be. We are brainwashed somehow or another.
think about it. i learnt sociology lesson in nursing. and hell, i swear everything the lecture says, really is true. we were brainwashed right when we were born. our colours were chosen. if you're a boy, automatically they buy you things that is in blue and if you're a girl, poof. everything's pink.
and also. he made us think. whether anorexia is a psychological problem or sociology problem. and to me i think it was sociology and then it got psychological. i mean, open the newspaper. count how many slimming ads are there. woman ads, specifically. i mean girls will get demoralise and be jealous of people as such. tsk, media. they always mindfuck your brain. always.
haha, see i'm randomly crapping nonsense. like this topic is so random. -.-
yes that's the bangs. firstly, din't think it would turn out good. but i guess, it's okay. so far, two dint have good comments but! many had good comments about me having this hair. and personally, if you were to ask me, i swear i dont know which one I liked better. bangbang ! okay lame. -.-
okay, so I went to cut my hair with my sister on Friday. She went to dye her hair and cut bangs too. while me just bangs. wanted to dye, but nahhhhhhhhhhh. so hell! i fell asleep while waiting for my turn! damn, I was so overwhelmed with fatigue and i can't control my sleep any longer. haha, me and my useless sleeping habits. always.
now, school. well, school's fine. was lost here and there but i'll soon get used to it! the module is just oh-so difficult to understand. Gonna start studying soon. haiz, i swear, i have no idea how to cope with studies and work at the same time, when the time comes. i mean when the times come for me to find work, and i predict it will be veryvery soon. my bank going low, but, i will survive. sighs. ever had that feeling that always comes and make you feel so low. i mean out of the blue, those feelings just appear and make you feel like fuck. that feeling was today. i used to love long bus rides. but currently, no. def, not. i just have time to myself to think. and i did today. i thought about those things that happened. and everything ah. and then the truth just slapped my face hard, everytime. the truth is . ' you weren't honest, right from the start. Right from the time, we were at the back of the MT classroom, or maybe somewhere there. Everything you said then was just merely something you needed to say to attract my attention. you just needed me for what. something of which i just can't bear to repeat. ' i dint say everything you said wasn't true throughout. but those were just half-hearted words, that made me fell deep. You know, it has been nearly three weeks. Shouldn't I be feeling good or maybe not feel hurt anymore? buttt, no. i ain't the type who just shrugs a feeling like this. once i fall, i fall hard. and i don't fall that easily, as you can see. not that i wanna continue feeling like this. i tried. tried to be angry. tried to forgive and dont look back in anger but its just the same. sorry if im reacting like so out of the ordinary towards this thing. but its just that, everything falls just all at one go. you went when i actually needed you. when problem crops up, i would tell you and just by talking to you I would be okay. but now, hell. things hasn't been well and i just don't know how. i guess i was wrong to depend on you. wrong to share those personal problems with you. and also just everything. i was so wrong. but i have no regrets. just disappointing. ohwell. people says time will tell, time will heal. yeah i know. but damn, time you are moving like bloody slow ! heh.
i know i have been one contradicting bitch. saying, im okay and over him and suddenly poof, aik. im not over here. its just that i chose to make myself think as such. but actually im not. yeah, being optimistic kinda did helped me. but when this feeling crops up, not even optimism can shoo this feelings away.
which is why im angry at MYSELF. like why the hell am i even feeling as such when its one-sidedly? see, suddenly optimism. but nah, i still feel the same.
okok, i really really got to stop. hahaha, okay soon will stop !
MOVING ONNNNNNNNNN TO AN ANOTHER BRIGHTER TOPIC.
going pasir ris tomorrow. no idea where the hell we're going. but i'll just go with the flow. as long its better than rotting at home, Im good.
gonna start to study biology already. a subject that is totally ancient to me. holy mackerel! holy smokes ! I'm dead if I don't start studying asap! c:
my mind is in a whirl. many things just runs in it, trying to solve the effing problem. ohwell i dont wanna bother about it lah. can i just go with the flow.
ANYWAYS. ROOSEVELTS VENGEANCE IS SERIOUSLY PROGRESSING WELL! AWESOME. I NEVER FAIL TO LISTEN BLOODLUST, LIKE ALMOST EVERYDAY! and got to know. they making new songs. ahhh, awesome balls!
hell, i do talk alot of nonsense sometimes. hahaha.
' You're your own worst enemy, you'll never win a fight.'
sucky day. I just feel like ... No idea what, but I doubt anything can make me feel better. From morning the day started. It was worst. Late, again. I just don't know. Then I had some problems up in my mind, which I just don't know how to say.
Then suddenly, I saw you. it was the first time since that day. Furthermore, it was nearly face2face, and I had to walk past you. I'm sorry if I reacted so immaturely, but if I were to see you in the next few months, I would have reacted differently. But right now, its just too soon, what's with every problem I'm kinda facing now. When I saw you, I was really scared. Everything you said came back, crashing me, making me vulnerable again. I thought I was okay, but I guess judging by today, I'm not. You seem happy, having a good life. Good for you.
I'm very tired. And I'm gonna fall sick, I guess.
I just don't know what to do. & I hate myself for missing you right now after everything.
Okay, I swear being nice is an effing waste of time. pfft. talk nicely also get fucked, for what. And why suddenly you people have a problem with basically everything I'm doing. hell, i know i have my faults, which is why im keeping quiet. but seriously, i don't have faults with some of you, but you people reacting like I did. I was minding my own business and yet, you're still claiming me of this and that. seriously, for those who are always fucking me up with their nonsense when i dint do anything wrong to them, and especially when im nice to you, please dont give me all the bullshit ah. tsk. i wanna ignore and walk away, but damn, this is so unfair.
is it wrong to listen to oasis back again, even though they're an old band ? too bad, i've been listening to oldold songs nowadays. so yeah.
ohman, sometimes, i blabber unneccessarily.
school has been good. but not the lecture's def. to me, anatomy class is awesome and interesting. but, of course not the FON class. Tsk, history of nursing ? how can it help me in my future ?
i'm kinda disappointed with you even though, its no point and you wouldnt know about it. you've changed. or maybe you have been always like this, you're just putting a drama all the way with me. but yeah, like i said, no point. and of course, why the hell bother. hell, kickass ah lu.
I NEED A JOB, FAST. SCHOOL IS KILLING ME WITH THE THINGS I HAVE TO BUY.
been oasis-ing this few days, and also gun and roses-ing. feels so nostalgic. no idea why.
oh and yes, i can't be late anymore, like seriously no more! two times, is just enough. HAHA. yes. i was late for nearly an hour for the first day and 15mins for the second day. *shakes head and slaps head. i must add this, the school is so effing huge. sometimes, i just feel like giving up after not being able to find a certain building. HAHA. (:
OKAYYY FINALLY MY SISTER DID UPLOAD. but I ain't putting all up now. cause' i have school tomorrow. i know, it has been months since I've said that. but, I do.
Just look at the chocolate cake. man, those are effing awesome. i want to eat somemore ah dey!
& oh, my friend's band made a new song called bloodlust. i wish to put here, somehow. must find out how.
OKAY, I WANNA TAKE A NIGHT TRAIN AND VISIT PARADISE CITY TONIGHT.
i guess that beat danroll's one.
" I send you to paradise city only to find out the signboard says 'welcome to the jungle' ! "
Don't go away- Oasis. lovely, balls. cold and frosty morning there's not a lot to say about the things caught in my mind and as the day is dawning my plane flew away with all the things caught in my mind
and I don't wanna be there when you're coming down and I don't wanna be there when you hit the ground
so don't go away say what you say but say that you'll stay forever and a day in the time of my life 'cause i need more time yes, i need more time, just to make things right
damn my situation and the games i have to play with all the things caught in my mind damn my education i can't find the words to say about the things caught in my mind
and I don't wanna be there when you're coming down and I don't wanna be there when you hit the ground
so don't go away say what you say but say that you'll stay forever and a day in the time of my life 'cause i need more time yes, i need more time, just to make things right
me and you what's going on? all we seem to know is how to show the feelings that are wrong
so don't go away say what you say but say that you'll stay forever and a day in the time of my life 'cause i need more time yes, i need more time, just to make things right
and don't go away say what you say but say that you'll stay forever and a day in the time of my life 'cause i need more time yes, i need more time, just to make things right (x3)
OHMYGOD. MAD JACK IS JUST OH-SO-AWESOME, BALLS. no kidding. i ate pasta and also there's dessert. and its a chocolate cake which just makes me feel so awesome. HAHAHA. whatthecrap.
i will upload the pictures when my sister uploads it up in facebook, which i have a feeling will take ages.
but i had an awesome time with them. after so long, finally all came. well, firdaus dint follow along. crazy ass. it was worth the blanja-ing.
school tmr. hell, i feel so excited. no idea what to wear. HAHA. will update tmr then.
Ive been listening the driveway on replay. I just feel so attached to it, without knowing any reason why.
After 12, not so well Won't pretend, it's too soon to tell What's round this bend? No disgrace, about face Anything not to have to chase you down again You know nothing hurts like loosing When you know it's really gone Except for the pain of choosing To hold too long
[Chorus:] I tried it your way But I got nothing to show It's been the same, same And the story's getting old So I guess the driveway Will be the end of the road For us it's too late Let the credits start to roll
[Verse 2:] A lot to say But not today Let the radio break the silence As we drive A kiss goodbye Not this time Don't remember what about this song I ever liked You know nothing hurts like loosing When you know I'm already gone Except for the pain of choosing To hold too long
[Chorus:] I tried it your way But I got nothing to show It's been the same, same And the story's getting old So I guess the driveway Will be the end of the road For us it's too late Let the credits start to roll
[Bridge:] I thought maybe we were getting somewhere But we're still nowhere at all I watched your tail lights fading I try but it still won't fall I remember what it feels like to know love And have it taken away Can't think of what I've learned right now But I'll be thanking you someday
[Chorus:] I tried it your way But I got nothing to show It's been the same, same And the story's getting old So I guess the driveway Will be the end of the road For us it's too late Let the credits start to roll
Let the credits start to roll So I guess the driveway Will be the end of the road, End of the road
hmm, yesyes. and also have been listening to oasis. oh so awesome. it has been so long since I've listened to them. i'm surprised I'm still able to sing along to some! cheybahhh.
*i cant lie. you know, tsk, deep down it hurts to know that, you want her. at least thats what i think you want. haiz, but if you're happy, then anything goes. I'll just move forward. the memory i wanna forget is goodbye. :( thinking back, im surprised that actually i'm effing forgiving. well, i cant help it. i just found no point in holding grudges and being angry. cause the feeling doesnt fade. but, yes. im slowly moving lors. not much memories to erase anyway. should be easier. but, hell. i hate to admit, there are times i have the urge to just find you back, tell you that imysm. but then thinking again, fuck pearl, don't be an idiot. bloody retard. and luckily i have no other way to find him back other than fb. but, yes, never had the urge to find him there. hell, this is what happens when i forgive a person. okay sorry. im talking about this again. *shakes head.
ON A BRIGHTER NOTE, MAD JACK TODAY. yesyes, i know. ITS EXPENSIVE. but, nevermind lah. once in a lifetime. 80 bucks, you're leaving away from my bank now. aww.
okay, gotta bath and buy stationary for school. will update tonight, i guess.
seriously, there's something wrong with me nowadays. I get angry easily and When a person scolds me for no apparent reason, I will retaliate back which I don't really do before. But right now I'm Angry.
When I keep quiet and minding my business, you're putting words in my mouth, accusing me of thinking or planning something when actually I was indulging myself to the song. like what the crap lah.
Now, I have to find a job. Yes, while schooling. Not that I don't want but seriously how? You all can. But where. My school finishes at five and Blablabla. I thought I wanna concentrate on studying. I mean, my attachment starts around june. But now, Aiya. Don't know lah. Now must go do some searching again. And no, ain't that annoyed abt this.
I'm just annoyed that people are scolding and screaming at me when actually I wasn't even doing anything.
I suddenly feel like I have no feelings. HAHA. okay, whatever. slowly, move on. why do I suddenly have the missing feeling ? fuck imma weirdo lah.
MADJACK TMR DEYY. AWESOME .
played pool today. i played one game. and obviously i lost. HAHA. hey, but i did shoot 3 or 4 in a row but making the ball jump! so don't underestimate this lady aye.
school on monday. damn, which reminds me i have to print the timetable and get some pens for school. aiya, so goddamn troublesome. I feel happy and at the same time scared. happy cause I cant wait to study. But scared to make friends. okay not scared lah. like i dont know. a feeling so unable for me to explain.
okay, my eyes is dying. i just type something so gribbrish.
I know Ive stated that the previous post was my last post about the problem. but, right now. i need to say this. Ignore everything I've said and just let things happen. I know, Earlier I was angry and frustrated with you for doing this to me. but today, I just realised that I was acting so stupid for doing all this to you. I mean, like blogging bad things about you.
Today, I wasn't angry anymore. heard a phrase from this show :
You may think your only choices are to swallow your anger or throw it into someone's face. But There's a third option which is you can just let it go. and only when you do that is it really gone, then you can move forward.
which got me thinking. I mean I'm not angry with you anymore. Seriously. Yes, i'm hurt. But, I don't know ah, But i just feel like once you're no longer angry with the person anymore, then moving forward is easier.
I highly doubt you would come across this. but, I'm glad to know you're happy right now. Even though, I wasnt part of it. Now, I know, i will start to miss you. But, dang, life has to go on what. why brood and be miserable for someone who will not be there for you anymore.
Next thing Ive learnt is that, Guys aren't the only bastard ones. Girls too can play that game. But, i don't think I will ever do anything or make someone I once loved, be in trouble, no matter what they have done to me. Usually the good ones, will be the one unable to get what they wants. life is unfair. so just deal with it. Life, tsk. It is so unpredictable.
anw, watched kickass. woo, am super elated I got through. full of violence deyyy!
i'm sorry for yet, another emotional post. emotional, but I ain't crying. But my heart's feels so heavy. i mean, i just got to know you actually had a deal ? okay, I'm glad it was a deal which states for 2 years. but, hey is that a deadline or what ? i mean, you should know your heart's not in it, why fake it that long ? you know. Im not feeling sad that this ended. Im just sad that you can't say the truth. and then i had my intuitions and then this ? seriously, i just feel like ah, fuck. you can never get it, can never care. why am i labelled as such ? and why do people think I'm the one who caused all this ? I mean, i felt like this wasn't real, obviously i had to say to you, and clarify my doubts. which was true right. seriously, yes, luckily it ended now. but seriously, whatever you did, it was just too harsh and unexpected from you.
you seriously did something to my heart. right now, it feels so fucked up.
'you stole my heart and then you kicked it away' - DAMN GIRL sang by the all american rejects.
nothing hurts like losing, till you know its already gone. - Miley Cyrus.
I'm letting go. i mean I have been for a week now. but all i'm so ever upset is all ive mentioned above. I mean, siala, i always believed you were different. im not angry anymore. im just so disappointed, like fuck. after everything, you just do this.
somehow i hope you would correct me if ive said anything wrong. All this is based on my intuitions and whatever i thought you are. since, you have never cared what impression i had of you and never cared to make sure i have a good impression of you, then let's just stick to this impression i just had about you.
man, i swear, i'm speechless, and disappointed. goodbye, seriously. you are doing so good and easy now, aren't you. i don't know. I don't wanna accuse anything. just felt like you are. well, i'm glad you're doing good. this thing should be kinda easy cause its not a long term r/s but, i just don't know. the truth, the intuitions, the things i get to know just make me upset even more.
from now on, not referring to any matter in particular, i don't wanna get involve in stuffs that has no relations with me.
i got to stop posting shits about you. but i just dont know where to turn and let exactly everything i wanted to say, out. i mean, im much better with saying everything down, than telling everything out.
shifting off away from the above topic. last day at work tomorrow. got to know kickass is M18. how kickass bullshit is that. *shakes head. haiz, problems today never seem to end, do they ? they just keep piling & piling up. I hope it will better tomorrow, wait, today i mean.
goodnight. i wanna go to bed, in like 15-20 minstime ?
okay! No one, No one. Have ever made me this pissed. I swear if you were in front of me, i would've hurled vulgraties and sarcasm at your face. i think this anger is also about those things i kept way back. okay, wait. I know, being angry over something you have no evidence about is totally bull. but, I had intuitions. I know, fuck my intuitions, always made me feel so fucked up. I can just let this intuition go, but i realised i had other intuitions before, and hell, they were true. Furthermore, Somehow seeing some things just made me trust my intuitions even more. Fuck, i have never planned on hating anybody. Never planned. Even though, I'm trying not to. Seriously. If my intuition were true. Just wanna let you know, Karma exist. They appear without you noticing. I know, cause i think i had mine. Everybody who knows me, knows that I'm not this kind of revengeful or the type of person who holds grudges. People who knows me also should know that I'm not that type who gets angry too easily. But when I do, i Get bloody sarcastic, and during the time, i can't control myself. i may not look like i'm capable of such thing but dont judge a person by its cover. Im way more than you think I am, seriously.
look, i don't care with whatever fucking thing you're gonna do with your life. I've just decided that today. Cause fuck hell, why should I even fucking bother when you don't give two shits about me. obvious much ? if not you would have cared and took interest in how i was doing. but hey there, fuck where the hell are you. But, SERIOUSLY, let me repeat, if I ever get to know, that this intuition were true. damn, I would be so darn hurt. I mean, fuck. Where the fuck is your feelings for others ? Firstly do you even care how i would react to such things, after everything you did. I don't care about whatever you think. yes, fuck. it hurts, like hell. but, I can't help it if i'm a forgiving person. and if it was true. if there's any chance i get to spit those sarcasm back at you. i would, i would. everything, every sarcasm that i had saved since that day. every bullshit you gave me, i have a sarcasm answer back.
if its true, I be fucking speechless. I never expect that from you, even though somehow deep down, i thought such thing can happen. haiya. fuck lah. why am i being so contradictive now? dang, im sucha weirdo. *shakes heads.
lastly, i dont hate you. never will, never will happen cause, ... oh well, i dont wanna say it anymore. but whatever happening, just doesnt seem like you.
and also, why did i fall too deep ? :(
okay, those who reads this, don't judge too quickly about whom i'm referring to. sometimes, its not who you think it is. the things i say here, can be referring to many many people. actually yes, it does. & i'm not lying, seriously lors.
but heyy, no point in brooding over something or someone who has never returned the way you treated them. I'm glad, I'm quite optimistic. If not. tsk, i dont even wannna think about it. this was supposed to be easier. but, i just dont know lah.
haiz. why must I be so intuitive ? *shakes head.
but lastly. i'm so gonna miss working. what's with the people and nice aunties. aiya.
i think i know why i feel as such. cause work ending. daaaaaaaaaaang.
hey, to any possible readers. My eyelids may die on me soon, but i just need to post something.
currently, I wanna enjoy and appreciate the awesome people who has been there for me always. how am I ? You know, I'm glad I'm fueled with optimism. Cause that's the only thing that got me thinking. Why bother in being miserable and crying and being sad ? Oh, easier. Fuck why bother? Yes, the <3 I had for you will not fade and I bet if we were to ever rekindle anything again, those hidden feelings i kept will come back. But, i chose not to think that i miss you, and i love you. no wait, actually nowadays, i don't miss you. Cause i thought, fuck, why waste on missing someone who doesn't feel the same way towards you? yes, sometimes, i get vulnerable and i thought about every possible scenarios. Like, how would i feel if you were to be with an another one. I get so darn jealous. but then again, oh fuck why bother. esp, today. it was supposedly to be our 5 mths. and a week since we broke up. i thought i would be disturbed and miserable the whole day. but on the way to work, I thought again, oh why give a fuck. i bet you dint even remember, cause sometimes before you dint.
you know, i sat down and comptemplated(?) about EVERYTHING you said. everything, yes i remembered everything you said. so be careful about what you say, i may not say anything to you, but through your words, i can somehow decipher whatever you have been keeping. anws, you know what, hell, you said a whole lot of bull. A WHOLE LOT. or maybe, just everything you said. it was never the truth- (okay maybe some was truthful.) and to me it was more like your words spoke louder than your actions.
yes, i'm hurt. broken. but, i can't help it if i'm such a forgiving person. I don't hold grudges towards people. like i mentioned, i can forgive but don't hope on me forgetting everything.
apart from all that, yes. you helped me in some ways in my life. and I thank you for that. you left some memories, good ones, and bad ones. please study hard, even after everything, i still care about you. your studies and health. that's all. I don't wanna lead myself on anymore. yes, still in the process of getting over you, and i doubt i will any sooner. So, goodbye.
ON AN ANOTHER NOTE. I have many awesome people around. My friends and my Cousins and siblings, of course. Work was oh so awesome. No matter how nonsense and crappy they get, They somehow made my day.
i realised i became wiser. heeeeeeeee. i mean, people grow up, they will get wiser what!
* they say. Time will tell. Time will heal. But time isn't a bullet train. The process is killing me. Can it go any faster, i wanna get over this easier.
aww, my last week at work. how effing sad. :( gonna miss working.
okay i gotta shut my eyes. i have been trying to keep myself occupied and pushing myself too hard. my body aches. everything aches.
Now that it's all said and done, I can't believe you were the one To build me up and tear me down, Like an old abandoned house. What you said when you left Just left me cold and out of breath. I fell too far, was in way too deep. Guess I let you get the best of me.
Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. I'm slowly getting closure. I guess it's really over. I'm finally getting better. And now I'm picking up the pieces. I'm spending all of these years Putting my heart back together. 'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you.
You took a hammer to these walls, Dragged the memories down the hall, Packed your bags and walked away. There was nothing I could say. And when you slammed the front door shut, A lot of others opened up, So did my eyes so I could see That you never were the best for me.
Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. I'm slowly getting closure. I guess it's really over. I'm finally getting better. And now I'm picking up the pieces. I'm spending all of these years Putting my heart back together. 'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you.
Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know.
Well, I never saw it coming. I should've started running A long, long time ago. And I never thought I'd doubt you, I'm better off without you More than you, more than you know. I'm slowly getting closure. I guess it's really over. I'm finally getting better. And now I'm picking up the pieces. I'm spending all of these years Putting my heart back together. Well I'm putting my heart back together, 'Cause I got over you. Well I got over you. I got over you. 'Cause the day I thought I'd never get through, I got over you.
the only song that got made me feel okay after feeling fucked up. anws, i finally realised it is no point, so I guess it is time to say goodbye and time to let you go. i realised that I'm better off without you. More than you, more than you know.
I'll try not to update anymore statuses relating to you. you said too many bull that broke my hearttttttttttttttttttttt. i don't hate you. I just hate that i ♥ you, very much. but it is all gonna end. i just realised I'm much happier. WOOO. anws, study hard.
on a brighter note, I'm watching CLASH OF THE TITANS. wooooooo.
relationship ended. all i wanna say now is my heart is like a glass mirror that has been smashed from the twelve stories to the first. i'm hurt. hurt, tremendously. why. well because of everything. I'm not going to say why it ended. but yes, i have to stop loving you and forget you, no matter how hard it gets. i can forgive but i will never forget. everything you say stays etched in my mind, like it is part of my brain cells. every good memories, every bad will always be there. my heart is broken and well, hard to piece it back. but hey, life needs to go on. Nearly 5 months, I should be glad everythings out. thus no more pretense.
just so you know if you happen to come by, of which i highly doubt so. but whatever, my <3 for you was true, sincere and i fell too, too deep. i <3 you hell loads, more than you can imagine.
for now, its time to move on. yes, ill miss you. but we can't keep brooding over the same thing.
i'm just damn hurt. not gonna state why here. i <3 you alot, and this happens. and the truth really hit me hard, just like a tight slap on my face. i know i knew it long ago but hearing you admit it breaks it even more.
right now, im angry with myself. i should'nt have done whatever i've done that day. stupid bitch, i am. tsk. well when you're vulnerable and feeling damn hurt, all i wanted was a tight hug. from... you.
oh well, nuff said. shit happens and things happens for a reason. i'm thinking positive but going thru this is difficult. but IF you can move on so easily then i guess i can too. and if others can do it, def i can too. its just that its the first time, and the decision was unpredictable. i just don't know how to stop <3-ing you.
Family.
They are the ones who have always made my life awesome. I can count on my siblings and cousins to make me laugh and I will always look forward to our outings. I'm always myself whenever I'm with them.
Friends.
My friends, are all different. We all have different characters but when we come together, we bond well. I can be crazy whenever i want to with them and I can share any shits with them. We laugh, we cry. I miss you, people.