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life's a game, but its not fair.
much loves, pearlly.
no guarantee that this was easy!
Monday, March 15, 2010 10:09 PM /
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Okay. enough of those posts that never made sense to anybody. just some scrambled thoughts which I can't say out but, writing it down makes it seems so easy.
days seems so slow, and so boring.
oh well.
first day at my job today. How was it ? It was kinda boring cause' I sat and did practically nothinG
the whole day. well, they dint have anything much for me to do. I do hope I'll be busy tomorrow. I hate to do nothing, and tend to daydream or fall asleep. hee.
Using adult fare is really unfair. and my fare is finishing by tmr. aww, damn. I need money fast.
:(
okay, I wanna stop blogging already. cause I hate to blog when somebody's around.
Time will tell, whether everything is true.
I got used to not wait. cause' I get so god damn disappointed. But I hate it that Deep deep down, I'm still stubbornly hopeful.
the truth is, I was never convinced nor did I believed everything you say. Not that I don't trust you but It seems so incredulous.
but, still I ♥ you, despite all the hurts. aww, crap.
when will you realise aye ?goodnight.
Labels: you hurt me but yet i still do.
Thursday, March 11, 2010 11:55 AM /
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♥ longeyelashes.
life's not easy anymore.
I know I said things but, up till now , nothing.
I don't wanna do this anymore. I don't wanna work anything out anymore.
I know things will not be okay anymore.
& I'm feeling so tired of thinking. my appetite is lost. damn .
all i wanna do now is start schooling and spend myself studying.
things happen, mistakes done.
fuck.
Sunday, March 7, 2010 11:53 PM /
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Life is so unpredictable.
Life is so unfair.
Life is never easy.
Life is so full of ups & downs.
Life is so full of bullshit.
Life is never,ever easy.Not everyone gets what they deserve. They just get what they gets. Life's not fair, get used to it.
The only people you need in your life are the ones that prove they need you in theirs. The truth is already out. You don't. Whatever happens, I still treat you as what you are supposed to be even though you don't treat me as one.
Stories got mixed up, got changed and got told in a TOTALLY different way, which caused you to misinterept. Yes, some of it were true, but some were told differently.
Telling the truth now seems so useless and wasted.
Yes, I know. I din't mean it to turn out as worse as it seemed right now. But, nothing can change whatever is happening now. I can't bear all this cold war and tension that I'm feeling right now. Yes, I somehow made all this to happen. But like I said, stories went out in a different way and like I mentioned again, what's the point of telling the truth and also what's the point of sitting down and discussing things when the problem has led to this.
I know. Saying I'm sorry is bull. But, I said it anyway. & I meant it. Even if you din't accept it.
My brain is going haywire with this problem and also with this poly enrollment package.
My eyes is dying on me and my brain feels oblivious.
I feel so scared to face tomorrow and how I wished I wasn't such a feeble girl.
I hope, facing you all tomorrow weren't awdward and hurtful as it did today.
But, that's bull. It will still be awdward and it will still hurt.
All i want is to just get through the morning without facing any criticism or anything. I prefer silence and ignorance. I hope, I don't have to go up to you all and ask questions.
When I'm done with my morning, I wanna go out and solve my poly things.
And poof, suddenly I'm restricted. Trust you ? Trust you that it will change. Change to become what ? I don't see any possible change. I hate it when you start asking me to do this and that. As if, I hasn't been doing so before this problem cropped up. Ask me to endure everything ? I'm vulnerable and I can't take this. I endured and tried to be patient. But, I can't. Well, what do you know. I just wish again, I wasn't so feeble. and I wish, I'm strong enough to make decisions for myself. Strong enough to say it all out. Strong enough to stand by my decisions. You don't get how I feel. I've made a decision but damn, I can't stand by it cause' you wanna work your way. FULL OF BULL.
& I wish I'm able to meet my bf. Imissyou.
goodbye. I don't update much.
Labels: again. sad post. or anger .