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life's a game, but its not fair.
much loves, pearlly.
*SCREAMS.
Wednesday, February 10, 2010 4:25 PM /
to topOKAY. i have a blog that i can rant to. so this isn't interesting much. just that i need to express this anger or disappointment somewhere.
*BREATHS. OKAY GO.
IT IS EFFING DIFFICULT TRYING TO PLEASE EVERYBODY. FUCK. WHY ARE THEY SO CONSERVATIVE AND THINK THEY KNOW US VERY WELL. OKAY, YES, I ARGEE YOU WILL KNOW US SINCE YOU TOOK CARE OF US SINCE YOUNG. BUT DO YOU REALLY KNOW US ? I MEAN, WHAT GOING ON IN OUR MIND, WHY WE MAKE SUCH DECISIONS. NO YOU DON'T CAUSE EVERYBODY HAVE THEIR OWN PERCEPTION OF THINGS AND THUS, YOU DON'T KNOW SHIT.
THIS IS THE MODERN GENERATION. THE DAY YOU PEOPLE LIVE ARE MUCH DIFFERENT AND THE KIND OF ATTITUDE YOU PEOPLE HAD LAST TIME ARE DIFFERENT FROM THE TEENAGERS NOW. DON'T EXPECT US TO BE LIKE YOU. EVERYBODY'S DIFFERENT. EVERYBODY LACK IN SOMETHING. NOBODY IS PERFECT AND NOBODY THINKS THE SAME WAY.
WHY ARE YOU REACTING AS IF WE ARE THE MOST AWFUL PEOPLE ON EARTH. GO SEARCH MORE. WE AREN'T THE ONLY PEOPLE WHO ARE LIKE THIS. NO OFFENCE, BUT THERE ARE MUCHMUCH MORE NOTORIOUS TEENAGERS. IF YOU CALL US DEVILS, I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU WILL LABEL THEM THEN.
SOMETIMES I WONDER WHAT WE HAVE DONE TO CAUSED THEM TO REACT LIKE THIS. WHAT ? I DON'T REMEMBER DOING ANYTHING SO DAMN SINFUL OR SO DAMN WRONG. I DO HOUSEWORK & BELIEVE IT OR NOT, I PUT MY EFFORTS AND ALWAYS TRY MY EFFING BEST TO MAKE SURE I DO IT NO MATTER HOW TIRED I FEEL. AND AFTER ALL THAT, YOU STILL SAY ALL THOSE THINGS. I KNOW, I RARELY TAKE INITIATIVE IN THINGS. I TRY MY BEST TO, BUT SOMETIMES THINGS JUST DON'T CROSS MY MIND. LIKE I MENTIONED, NOBODY THINKS THE SAME WAY.
AND IT'S FUCKING UNFAIR WHEN THINGS GOES WRONG, I'M THE ONE THEY RUN TO. TO SCOLD AND BLAME. WHY MUST I BE THE ONE WHO MUST UNDERSTAND YOU PEOPLE. TRY SITTING DOWN AND THINK. UNDERSTAND ME.
NOW, ONE WANTS ME TO GO AWAY AND ANOTHER JUST DOESN'T TRUST ME WHEN I DO. SEE WHAT I MEAN ABOUT TRYING TO PLEASE EVERYBODY. WHAT THE FUCK AM I SUPPOSED TO DO. IF YOU WANT ME TO GO AWAY SO BADLY, TELL THAT TO THE OTHER PERSON THEN. SOLVES EVERYTHING.
I'M NEARLY EIGHTEEN AND I KNOW, I DON'T ACT LIKE EVERY EIGHTEEN YEAR OLDS. INDEPENDANT AND WHATSOEVER YOU HAD IN MIND. AND YOU THINK I'M NOT DISAPPOINTED WITH MYSELF FOR THAT. I AM. BUT AT LEAST TRUST ME AND DON'T THINK I DON'T HAVE MY OWN EFFING MIND TO THINK FOR MYSELF. CAUSE I DO.
AAAAAAAAAAH, FUCK AH. I HATE IT WHEN I GET SO PISSED ABOUT THINGS AND MY MIND GETS SO MIXED UP.
LIFE IS FUCKING UNFAIR. SO I GOT TO LIVE WITH IT.
I THINK I WOULD HAVE STARTED CRYING BY NOW IF THIS CONSTANT NAGGINGS AND BLAMINGS WERE TO BE THROWN AT ME WHEN I'M IN THE AGE OF 14-16. BUT AFTER GOING THROUGH THIS FOR SO LONG, I'VE GOTTEN IMMUNE TO IT. BUT SOMEHOW, IT WILL NEVER END. NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY. I KNOW, I STARTED TO HAVE THE MINDSET OF NOT CARING WHATEVER PEOPLE SAY. BUT SOMETIMES, IT GETS STUCK TO ME, NO MATTER HOW HARD I TRY TO PUSH IT AWAY.
HEY, I'M A HUMAN, WITH FEELINGS. AND I AM THE WAY I AM. I'M SORRY IF I'M NOT THE KIND OF PERSON YOU WANT ME TO BE. I ACCEPT THE WAY YOU ARE, YOU ACCEPT ME.
CERTAIN HABITS DIE HARD. AND THAT HABIT OF MINE OF SLEEPING LATE WILL ALWAYS BE STUCKED WITH ME. SO I CAN'T CHANGE THAT.
BELIEVE ME, I HAVE CONTEMPLATED ABOUT MY LIFE, THINGS ABOUT MYSELF. AND I'M REALLY DISAPPOINTED ABOUT IT. SO I DON'T NEED ADDITIONS.
AND RIGHT NOW, I FEEL SO RESTRICTED AND I FEEL LIKE MY PERSONAL LIFE IS INVADED. GOES BACK TO THE SAME OLD SHIT. - TRUST. SOMETHING THAT I'VE LOST. DUE TO SOME MATTER THAT IS SO DAMN SMALL. BUT YOU KNOW WHAT, I DON'T CARE ABOUT GAINING BACK THE TRUST CAUSE' I HAVE MY OWN MIND TO THINK FOR MYSELF. AND I KNOW, I WON'T DO ANYTHING STUPID.
wow. long rant, full of complaints. i must say, it was quite a nice release.
Labels: LIFE.
