lymph nodes shits.
Tuesday, January 26, 2010 10:43 AM /
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imissyou. & I know I'm not meeting you anytime soon. :(
Still sick, using phone to update.
I hate this feeling. Aaaaaaah, trying to ignore.
& I'm gonna get in trouble. :((
Labels: imisslongeyelashes aloooooot.
Saturday, January 23, 2010 12:26 PM /
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my mind is too,too occupied.
I'm tired, too, too tired. Damn,neck.
Going to sleep for awhile.
: )
trust.
Friday, January 22, 2010 6:57 PM /
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Actually aniq and his band were there too.
Totally feeling shitty. Why ?
1. My ulcer is spoiling my mood, making me hate food and having dried lips.
2. The left side of my neck is a wee bit swollen and it will feel painful whenever I turn my head.
3. Bloodred day. With all those Shit we have to go thru, either physically or emotionally.
4. My head feels heavy and Everytime I look up, my head will feel hurt.
5. I kinda have difficulties tasting food. and the redbull I'm drinking now taste so yucky.
6. There might be high possibilities that I'm falling sick.
7. But, I'm going to act normal cause I know somebody will suck it up in my face and blame myself for getting sick.
SO FUCK IT.
Went to Mdm Kumari's place and she cooked for us splendid dishes. Yummay. She's feeling good.
and I had a sucky lecture today before going out. Dint know he was so old-minded. I'm nearly 18, why can't I live like one? It isn't wrong to be in a r/s as long I know my limits. Its really too bad and sad that my trust was lost. Just because I kept going out and Blablabla. That isn't the only reason but I'm too lazy and sickandtired to explain why. Its just too nonsensical. Hmm, well as long I know I'm telling the truth, it's fine. I don't find the need to lie anymore. and he should know that. But he dint know. Yeah fine whatever.
Going to rest. Will upload the rest of the pictures we took just now.
Goodbye.
Labels: Mdm kumari and my trust.
saturdaaaaaaaaaay.
down a panadol. i sense headache on the way. :)
did nothing today. i slept my whole day away, seriously and my mum was pissed at me for doing that. heh.
i've been saying this OVER & OVER again. i need a job & yes, i do. well, called gramophone and they don't have part-time vacancy so I have no chance on that. Crap. Well, will go job-hunting with reshmi on the 26 january, if i remember correctly.
&& ! I WILL BE GOING FOR ANIQ'S GIG. heh, well i'm a fan of my own friend's band. :D will be going for the 7 February one, and there will be high possiblities for going on the 27 January. a-w-e-s-o-m-e ! :) & oh how can i forget to mention their band's name. Roosevelts Vengence.
I HATE FACEBOOK. damn it for lagging its darn ass.
& i hate megavideo. wanted to watch episode 4 of ' How i Met Your Mother ' but megavideo is a bitch. & megavideo is the only one offering it, if i checked correctly.
haaaaaa, i wished i have many hours to myself without anybody disturbing me so i can watch peacefully. i so wanna watch Vampire Diaries, gossip girl & How i Met Your Mother and manymany others.
going to have to wake up early tomorrow. maybe 7am ? will be going to Mdm Kumari's house tmr, eh no, later.
& my neck is effing painful. :( i think its a little wee swollen.
i guess im left with ' whose line is it anyway ? ' . oh well, i don't mind.
- ear fiddling. heh.
Labels: i blogged.
what was de motive.
Wednesday, January 20, 2010 10:10 PM /
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STOP BEATING AROUND THE BUSH. JUST SAY IT. I hate to do deeeee figuring out part.
I may look soooooo happy but I swear I'm confused as hell. You talk I listen, I talk, Ignorance.
I'm confused, I dint sleep a wink yesterday, But my mind is still functioning well. But I'm getting those giddyness. Like I'm going to faint kind of giddy. Even my father saw me in that state but I told him, I'm not giddy and I'm fine. Truly, I'm fine. Cause, all I need was to eat & I did. Now I'm good. No worries.
Somehow, it isn't like every other. It's not that feeling, but its different and saddening. Holy cow, Wtf am I talking ? Sorry.
Labels: full of shits.
need. Help!
I'm too oversugared. I can't sleep. :(
Instead, I contemplated. I feel so optimistic now with all the ideas, but I will think my ideas are lame when the sun comes up.
I'm so confused.
Aaaaaah. Sleeeeeeeeep.
Labels: imissyou.
baby.
OHMYYYYY, IF THIS PERSISTS, I MAY GET DIABETES LAAAAAAAAH.
i just drank red bull, 2 cans of coke & 2 breads with nutella. and one spoon of nutella. how many sugar intake is that ? i suddenly feel so oversugared. man, i gotta stop sugar-ing my boddddayyy.
& please make later a yes.
watching whose line is it anyway. and they are awesome. never fail to make me smile. AWESOME.
Labels: random.
scrambled thoughts.
Tuesday, January 19, 2010 11:28 PM /
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calling someone who is unavailable. how dumb.
- I felt this emptiness before, but all the time, it has been broken, I still run back for more. -
i don't know what you're doing, where are you, how are you and is tomorrow a yes. How to get thru to you. goneeeeeeee deeee the whole day. chill pearlly. don't let your negativity take oveeeeeeeeeeeeer. *sighs.
itried.
&oh, btw, i'm still waiting.
drink coke LAH. ohmy, no i just drank red bull. damn.
alamak saya banyak punya rindu kamu laaaaaaaaaa. :(goodbye.
Labels: something different.
stop.
i know this picture has been posted but i just kinda edited it. well, i was effing bored during this timing. as you can see, if you browsed through, i have done something to this blog. I have added words and pictures in the PICS section and have added a song. sorry if its half covered. i'm too lazy to try to figure this thing out.
- I don't wanna fall too deep, cause' i don't wanna be mending a heart that has fallen too much. -
and i'm not lying. I do.
i argee.
goodbye you.
Labels: yesyoubaby. ilove.
thoughts gone wild.
Monday, January 18, 2010 9:13 PM /
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- we are ignorantly working on something we both secretly, very well know, can't be worked. -
u deserve better. a much prettier one, a much talkative and a lot of other qualities that i don't. deeeeeeeee ugly side.
heyho.
nothing much to update.
where am I ? : where else. my granny's place.
current feeling ? : sucky & fucking bored.
what am I doing ? : scrolling up & down the pages of facebook AND secretly hoping for something that i may not get.
&oh, imissmybf. :( better make wednesday a yes, please.
REEDITED : i wonder, why. stop living your world with lies. don't say it to make a person happy, say it cause you meant it.
and ohoh, yeah again i shouldn't hope too much.
- could this be out of line if i say i want you to be deee the only one ? -
well, hoping for the impossible. i know. so scratch that.
&& I LOVE THE SINGER OF ACCEPTANCE. HOT BALLS.
goodbye.
Labels: really random but updated.
Saturday, January 16, 2010 2:39 AM /
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i'll always be there whenever you need me to.
so contagious.
Friday, January 15, 2010 6:29 PM /
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- could this be out of line to say you're the only one breaking me down like this. you're the only one i'll take a shot on, keep me hanging on, so contagiously. -
advices, but i still decided to try and work this out.
I'm so persistent.
and so darn patient.
questions,questions, and what ifs.
everybody can't forget that, even me, i guess.
You were everything I wanted, come to think of it im aching.
oh fuck it.
i chose nursing. in ngee ann.
Labels: my thoughts is fucking around with my emotions.
last long ayeeeeeee.
Wednesday, January 13, 2010 1:15 AM /
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happy 2nd month, syed yaawar mothashim. I hope i spelled the last name right. Heh. well, its effing difficult and confusing to spell it right. I hope it is right.
You make me happy whenever you start talking. :)
ilovelongeyelashes.
Ohmyyyy, choosing is course is making me crazzzzzzy balls. well, i have to think for my future ah! BUT I GUESS NURSING WILL BE DEEEEE FIRST CHOICE. Personally, i have no interest in any engineering courses. And as for early childhood, i don't know. I mean when my younger sister annoys me i feel so agitated. What more children! But will still be my second choice.
Oh don't wanna think about it now lah!
Goodbye.
Labels: relationship
everything you would change in me.
Tuesday, January 12, 2010 6:11 PM /
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- Nothing to lose, but everything's a gain. It must be worth it in the end, somehow.
Courses I've chosen ?
Well, i haven't chosen any yet. So far, I chosen four but I don't know which should be my first choice. I din't know choosing a course would be THAT difficult and stressful. and seriously, i feel so congested and crammed. I don't know how to explain why i felt as such but yeah i do. I mean everybody have their different opinions in things. and everybody has been telling me their different opinions. Some disagree with others. But whatever it is, those advices will be noted and thought over. I know it's my life. so i should choose my own course. But I'm really confused on what i wanna do. Since I had my mind set on nursing since day one, so that will pretty much be stated as my first choice. Many told nurses is a sensible job but will I be willing to set it as a career forever ? I don't know. Like i said, I'll make the decisions along the way. I'll take nursing and study. Work as a nurse for years. It wouldn't hurt to at least try. Try.
Will be applying online latest by tomorrow when I told and asked opinions from people.
Anws, the pictures uploaded above, are taken on New Year. Nothing much to elaborate, just look and enjoy the pictures aye.
RANDOM THOUGHTS.
Indirectly, i feel so forced to do things. I hate to be forced. I mean, i don't force people, as far as i can remember, i don't. Why force a person to do something out of their own will or whatsoever. And when I'm forced, I'll get so irritated.
HAHA. damn my mother is so damn angry with my younger sister ! hahahahahahahaha. the reason cause, they had the height and weight check and they had to take out their shoes. and my sister wore a different size of shoe. most prolly her friends. and her socks, both different sizes. and can easily see it is in different sizes. damn my sister really is wrong to mess with her. my mother is fuming mad. HOLY COWWWWWWW. i don't wanna mess with her myself cause' her naggings and scoldings is too unbearable. gahhh, my sister. funny kid lah she !
time to read the courses available. dang, i'm confused.
ohh&, imissyouahlongeyelashes !
Labels: courses.
long eyelashes.
Heyyyyy !
Olvls results. According to the MOE letter, i got 14 points after minus-ing my CCA points. I have no distinction. I had one C6 and the rest either B3 or B4. I got C6 for maths. I have no idea how my marks were counted but i'll just follow whatever the darn MOE paper says. Dang, pretty disappointed in myself for maths. I'm still considering about the courses i'm going to take. Been listening to advices from people and been considering on it, will confirm on my choice of course soon. ASAP though !
For those who din't get what they achieve, it's okay. Whatever it is, there will surely be a path for you.
(:
i told him to not worry about not talking to me much. yes, i don't mind so yeah, the Os is fucked up. surely will miss you.
I really am confused about my health condition. I will feel hungry one second. And when i start eating, i can't finish the food.
and i've been nocturnal ! I've sleeping at 4 - 5 am and have been waking up around 7 or 8am. Im losing sleep, :( !
Will update soon again.
Labels: olevels.
I wish you were hereeee.
Sunday, January 10, 2010 10:10 PM /
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I'm scared. Boohoo. I'm having negative thoughts now.
I have many what ifs questions, questioning myself.
I need an optimistic person to push my pessimism away.
Where are youuu? :(
Goodluck to those taking their results tmr.
I have to msg and call a lot of people tmr. I hope i'll be sharing happy news aye.
Goodnight.
Labels: fear.
Friday, January 8, 2010 7:56 PM /
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aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah. go away lahhhhh.
don't annoy me pls, my dear sister.
danggggggggggggggggg, you're so damn free.
and i'm sucha idiot.
i can't be bothered anymore aye.
tell me how to make it right again.
i tried.
im so damn tired.
'the warm embrace that no one knows.'-No Surprise.
never knew when and never knew how.
Aaaaaah. I'm still awake. Im forcing myself to sleep so that I will be sane enuf to do things when I wake up.
I can't sleep. My mind is occupied. Mainly Olvls. Aaaah. Hell. Fasterfaster.
I need assurance.
Its 5am and I can't sleep.
I'm so going to get migraine or some massive headache sooooooon. Ahh. Don't want laaaaa.
And there so many new and exciting movies coming out. Ayaiaiaiaiai.
ohmy. Sleep.
Labels: 2nd on daaaaaa 13th.
some dance to remember, some dance to forget.
Thursday, January 7, 2010 11:07 PM /
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' next time you point a finger, i'll point you to the mirror. 'expressing my feelings again. an advantage to having a blog. i just have to say this cause i don't know who to find.
i always have to say something everytime. but i can never say it in the right way. either it is being misinterepted(?) or i was too scared to say it. so i'm really sorry if i had said things and you people thought differently. i'm just dumb.
<3
i never really got to say things i wanted fully. either because im scared and of course, i don't wanna to irritate you with those tak perlu msges. heeeeeeeee. so here.(:
i've been to secondary five bfre so i know the darn stress. bear with it eh. study hard and show the sch.
i don't know how many times i said it. I'm sorry and i don't want to bring it up anymore.
well, you waited, so now i'll be patient. just dont disappoint me in the end. not that im saying you will.
i feel so guilty for disturbing you. cause it should be used for studying.
so if you are free, i'm hereeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. but just dont disappear too long. i always feel okay and happy when i talk to you.
i miss you. (:
and oh, approx 6 days.
okay, i dont wanna be too naggy or whatever. so done.
http://www.fmylife.com/
saw this in facebook somewhere. the stories written by all of them is seriously randoooooooooom. some partly are funny. (:
anws, im going to private my blog. i'm really glad i dont have many readers around.
I WANT TO REALLY SCREAM MY HEART OUT FREELY.
will invite those i want to invite ayeeeeeeeeeeeeee. will privatise soon when i figure out how to. pretty much lazy right now ah.
going out tmr.
ah damn ! 3 days left. can the days go much faster. i hate waiting for results. and i can't sleep just thinking about it. blablablaaaaaa.
i have my mind set on nursing. it is just because i haven't seen the points yet. i don't wanna hope veryvery high. dang, im so worried. I really wanna get it done and over with.
i will surely have troubles sleeping tonight and these two days. crap.
oh my brother just scolded me for joining lame groups in fb. HAHA. he was the one who asked me to put ONLY my pic for my display pic. how funny. but after what he said, i realised that the some of the fb groups are abit crappy. i joined those i reallyreally think its true.
i just died in your arms tonight - Cutting Crew. damn old song. but i likeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
oh gosh, daughtryyyyyyyyy ! :D
* grumbles.
Labels: kidnap my heaaaaaaaaaaaaaart.
call your name.
facebook has their disadvantages and advantages. It gets people connected but ur privacy or life will be intruded to certain people.
I'm seriously speechless when people ask me why this person become as such and Blablabla. And all this is due to fb. Very hard to explain.
but fb is seriously addictive. I can't deny that. I don't give a shit about friendster. In fact, I deleted it.
And I really hate it when people doubt you. I'm big enough to know whats right and wrong. so yeah. And don't worry, I won't be a wild child. I very well know my limits. trust me a little pls. Thankyou.
Just feel like bursting out somewhere. And ohmy 4 days to results. I'm scared shitless. :(
Labels: vented out.
monday: 11 January 2010
I miss you. <3
I can't sleep, thinking about my Olevels results. :(
I'm trying hard not to be pessimistic. The feeling is seriously different from Nlevels results.
I swear I don't know what to do if I were to get a lot of points. Negative much? So much for telling him not to be negative eh pearl?
Okay, stop it.
Damn, sleeping is a waste of my time.
Labels: please be nice to me results.
myself.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010 11:35 PM /
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:)
i'm updating constantly eh. Life's after Olevels is such a bore if you're not working.
damn, i don't think I can change myself. i said, i wanted to be fierce, brave and blablabla remember. i don't think i can. i can't remember a time where i burst out at someone. like really burst out, screaming like a lunatic. i just went ballistic at my smaller sister. well, i can't help it. i myself don't understand myself. in any type of matter, i won't really scream out my anger at anyone. not that i can remember any. the only thing i can do is just fcuking cry. many said i'm soft and a person can make me guilty as hell. not every person lah. and i don't really like to say how i feel. easy say : suffer myself. HAH.
but everythings is settled and i'm glaaaaaaaaaaaad and happy. and i'm sorry. :)
annnnnnnnnd, i will have many things to say only after everything has ended. yeah, im a mouse and i'm very stupid.
right now, i dont wanna think about any other things except for my Olevel results which is on MONDAY. oh holy craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaap. fuck.
:(
Labels: ghost of meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.
gag.
years goes by and time just seems to fly. but the memories remains.
2.26am. i miss sleeping early just so i won't be sleepy the next day in school.
well, it's time for me to be the understanding one, like i always try to. i should understand cause' i went thru secondary five and the bloody stress. and it's hell. so i should be able to understand pretty much. and i will be patient. I'll just endure the silence and not be a pessimistic bitch eh.
ily(pardon the mushy shits) , just don't disappoint me in the end.
:D
and yays. I'm glad I won't have to be so darn bored for this three days. today, I'll be meeting Rajathi and just walk around. Tomorrow, I'll be meeting Siva to pass her calculator and meeting yaawar, i guess. And on Friday, I'm going to have lunch with my friends. i really hope the whole clique can make it. :D and oh, meaning i need $$. hell.
looks like I won't spend my day lying in bed, thinking and contemplating. - which will lead me to have negative thoughts and feel so shittaay.
I'm finally home. which means I can't be awake till 5 or 6am. cause I have to wake up early to do housework. being the only girl living in this house, I can't argue about housework. so yeah, endure and learn from it.
and gosh, i wanna work. damn rizal for not calling me yet. :(
IM EFFING HUNGRY. I NEED FOOD. and surprisingly, I'm craving for McSpicy. holy cow.
i guess i gotta find for instant noodles. dang, i just ate instant noodles for lunch. :(
'when you fall apart, am i the reason for your endless sorrow ? ' - Daughtry, Call your name.
goodbye.
Labels: lovely.
i thought you should know that i've been holding on and you've been letting go.
Tuesday, January 5, 2010 2:37 AM /
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' Don't look over your shoulder 'Cause that's just the ghost of me. You're seeing in your dreams.' - Daughtry : Ghost of Me.
second post. (:Firstly, pardon me for being very slow. new year resolutions.
well, i don't really think i need new year resolutions, cause' in the end, i will never live up to it. so why bother making such resolutions ? i have nothing to fulfill. I'll just let things happen and i'll make decisions along the way. but surely, this year, i wanna change myself.
I WANNA BE MUCH FIERCER, COURAGEOUS AND BRAVE.
AND OF COURSE, WHO CAN FORGET THIS. I WANNA BE FATTER.
I'm working on it, people !
2009 has pretty much left. and i haven't said how my 2009 was.
2009 was a bad year for many. it's quite terrible for me too. what's with O levels and those shits that i don't really wish to elaborate. nevertheless, i'll add it to my memory so i can laugh it off when i get older. laughing is good.
But one thing i will surely remember is the last year i spent in school. yes, school's a bitch. but, i don't hate school. i just hate the waking up part and those endless naggings and those damn stress. seriously, i miss my darn class and i miss the school, seriously. i mean going school is a plus point cause' you will meet your friends every weekdays. they fill up your days with laughters. but now, there's nothing to do and obviously we don't meet everyday.
seeing everybody attending school today, makes me feel like shit. it's like everybody going to school and i'm going to watch a movie. how wrong it felt.
those who will be going through your last year in sch, treasure it.
2010, please be nice and friendly to me. thankyou.
(:
and. OLEVELSRESULTS. holy crap. i was so carefree the past few months but knowing that the results is near, i feel so crappy and scared. yes, i studied hard. the hardest i can, and i dont give a shit to those who thought i din't. ohwell. goodluck to those taking their Os this year. not being a bitch but seriously, it will be fcuking stressful. just start study early.
and i love Chris Daughtry. he's awesome and i would really want to go to his concerts.
Before I die, I seriously need and must go to
1. Daughtry
2. Paramore
3. The All-American Rejects
4. Nickelback
CONCERTS.
they are the awesome-est bands I've ever listen so far. new bands will come by and maybe i wanna go to those too.
kiddy.
heh.
goodbye.
Labels: 2010.
hohoho.
URGH. I'M SO DAMN DUMB. I JUST DRANK HONEY AS IF ITS WATER. damn, I swear it taste like urgh. my lips taste like honey and i just hate it.
well, actually i wanted to get a glass of water, any kind of water. the colour of the water in the coke bottle look effing dark and I was sure it looked like Coke. so poured a glass of water and drank it. ohmy, i really feel like vomitting now. crapholycow, it tastes like fcuk. :( holy mackerel. :(
pretty dumb eh.
anyways !
I watched AVATAR today. with Amrit. I swear AVATAR is a cool movie and its graphics were awesome. The way the place looked makes me go' wow, pretty ! ' And I imagined if i were to watched it in 3D. Dang, I would've been like waving my hands and kicking here and there. I don't how to explain why i would react that way. ONE WORD : AWESOME.
recommended to watch this movie.
I'm currently finding some kind websites that can let me watch Alvin & the Chipmunks 2. those cute little chipmunks really attracts me. but their songs are a little bit annoying with their voices. but nevertheless, they are cute.
I started playing Cafe World in Facebook a few months ago. With much enthusiasm and dedication, i played constantly. Always making sure there's food to be served and always beautify-ing my cafe. but i got tired and bored of it after a while and my cafe now looks horrible and unattended. gaaaah, i swear I'm getting lazier as days goes by.
I need a job. yes, work sucks but i need the bucks. i can't depend on my lovely siblings anymore. i mean, they need money too.
Draceania Pearl -Linnia.
<3
i'm aimless. help. :(
goodbye.
ohoh. i don't wanna make this post look freakishly long as it would be such a turn-off. will say more shits in another post. (:
Labels: AVATAR.
negative thoughts.
Monday, January 4, 2010 2:21 AM /
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hello.
damn me from blogging rarely eh. well, sorry to those readers who actually reads my blog.
well, many things has happen since the last i updated.
firstly, my mom cut my hair. i pretty much don't care how it looks cause' i feel free without my long hair. but one thing for sure i look like a kid. i can't even pass for a 16 year old. how pathetic. but who cares ?
secondly, NEW YEAR WAS GREAAAAAAAAAAAT. i'm glad yaawar,<3 followed. He actually couldn't make it. But he did. Met my friends at the MRT station. and we went to eat at Makansutra. Dint eat much though i was forced by him. walked around. There was pretty much alot of walking and the Fireworks was awesome. pictures with my dear menon. will steal from her soon.
thirdly, yaawar,<3 starting school tmr. gah, that means no more night callings and we can't meet that often. i really hope he doesn't disappear the whole day. like he usually does. :(
ohwell.
fourthly, I'm meeting my friends later to watch AVATAR. Heard it's a good movie. Can't wait.
oh gosh. I miss school as much as i hate it last time.
I miss yaawar,<3.
I miss my house.
i like this picture. <3
rahrah oolalalalala. goodbye.
Labels: you baby.